It’s tough writing this blog every single day. Sometimes I have nothing to say. Sometimes words are just hollow. Empty shells of former glory. Or some shit like that.
Sometimes I just want to plunk away on the piano. And be free of words.
What a life. What a charmed existence. Should I speak or not? What grand decisions I have to make in my life.
Or should I have carbs for lunch or not? Should I wait until dinner? Should I fast for 16 hours and then eat for 8? Or should I just eat when I’m hungry? And what should I eat? Should I have sugar? Should I have hydrogenated fat? Should I restrict my salt intake? Fuck.
What a charmed life I lead. Such big decisions. When people are…well, you know. You can always compare your life to someone less fortunate. But there will always be someone less fortunate. How about that spider you killed the other day? Because you’re terrified of spiders? So you stomped it out with your boot. Or how about all the ants decimated by some weird poison hotel? Which is not a hotel at all. But a death chamber for little creatures.
How about all the…oh shit…off the rails again.
That’s my problem. I keep thinking I don’t have a right to bitch and moan. Or a right to be happy. Or a right to just be miserable. “What do you have to be miserable about, Brucie? You’ve got it so good. Well, you don’t have much hair left. But that’s ok. You have the ability to go get hair implants. Think about all the poor people around the world unable to afford or have access to hair implants…”
This is the weird twisted shit that runs thorough my mind. On a daily basis. Who put this strange random twisted logic in my brain? Who made me think such stupid thoughts?
I will try and focus. Get my head together. Align my thoughts with some higher power. Preferably solar-powered. Or get straight with my head by listening to some really loud rock and roll. Preferably on vinyl. But I don’t have vinyl. I’m too cheap to spend 30 bucks on an album I can listen to for free—or at least with a $14.99 monthly streaming subscription.
So not much going on today. A real first world morning. Should I wait until 2 pm to eat? That would be 16 hours of fasting. I can just drink tea for now. And coffee. But then I start thinking about how the coffee was harvested. Were the people picking the beans happy? Do they lead good lives? Should I just drink organic, fair trade coffee? But I like my Chock Full o’ Nuts. Should I investigate how the Chock Full o’ Nuts coffee is grown? Are the beans politically correct? Are they solar-powered? Do they have a 401k and health plan?
Can beans be on an HMO plan?
And now it’s time to go to the bathroom and waste more water with my old, non-earth-friendly toilet…
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