I ate too much garlic last night. I always eat too much garlic. This causes much marital grief in my relationship. My wife loves me but wishes I would floss more. Understandable. To have and to hold don’t mean to love garlic breath and bits of rotting food in your spouse’s teeth. Or shall I say “my” teeth. She keeps her breath clean. As it should be. She is the woman of the house. I am the man. The stereotypes are real. The woman is clean and dignified. The man is a slob. This is what all the tv commercials portray. The woman is invested in keeping a clean home. The man sits on the couch or rather “slouches” on the couch and eats chips and dip. And watches sports. And generally makes a supreme mess of the living room and surrounding domestic subdivisions. And he has his friends come over and inaugurate the couch with even more slobbery and chips and dip.

And they get very angry when the cable connection fails and they have to stare at each other and talk about their feelings. Or talk to each other at all.

(I made the last part up. I haven’t seen this on a tv commercial. Yet…)

This is the stereotype. The woman on tv is always cleaning, vacuuming, spritzing, getting ready for guests, doing laundry. And the man is concerned with sports, chips and his cable connection.

To solve this gender dilemma promoted by the tv powers that be, we should just turn off the tv and do something else. Knit. Make homemade tortilla chips (much better than the bagged variety with half the sodium). Dance in the living room to real music played with real instruments and a singer that can actually sing. Arrange pictures on walls. Throw our phone in the trash and read a book. Simple things. All men, women, genders, races, creeds and even vegans can do this.

Television shouldn’t define our species. But it’s sure helpful when we’re bored and just need a little couch time, chip time, and gender stereotype commercial time.

I do enjoy the one commercial with the really old couple where the old guy is showing his old wife how to swiff and dust the ceiling fan and he’s pointing as she reaches up real high and could possibly fall at any moment and he’s just pointing and directing like some fool man would in a tv commercial.

And so it is.

Must floss teeth.

Immediately.

Every day.

©2023 Bruce Palma. All rights reserved. No, really…