Sugar Confessions 1: Anteaters and Raisin Bran
I have attempted to extricate myself from the clutches of the evil sugar but without success. It has been futile. There is no escape from the tasty sweet demon. Sugar has me in its sweet, evil grip. This demon is relentless. Why can’t I just stay away from the sweet tasty things?
I’m weak, that’s why. I’m no better than a 3-year-old fool child sucking down candy on a hardwood floor.
Last night I ended my day with 3 bowls of raisin bran cereal. Filled with sugar. Malt sugar. White sugar. Fruit sugar. It was all up in that tiny bowl. I only use a tiny bowl, about a half a cup size, to fill with cereal hoping to only have one tiny bowl. This might be 15 grams of sugar. This might be only 10 and it could be up to 20 grams. I don’t know. I lost count. Unfortunately, I had 3 or 4 bowls (can’t remember) of the raisin bran. Right before bed.
And of course I overslept. Why? I was dreaming of sugar. Stone cold snockered with glucose fantasies. Rising and falling on waves of sweetness and I can’t remember more than 10.5% of my dreams.
Now I’m up past my designated wake up and crush time and I have a raging headache. No amount of water or coffee will stop the pain. I know it’s because of the sugar in that raisin bran cereal I had last night.
I feel a fool. A failure. A freak of nature no better than the anteater who probably eats way too many ants and then wishes they could write about it afterwards. But alas the poor little anteater, put here on earth by some fool creator with a wicked sense of humor, can only waddle away into a bush and hide from ridicule. Ate too many ants, did ya? I can hear the other creatures say, taunting that poor hairy bug-sucker, of which I know not if it’s a he or a she or just a damn fool bug vacuum with no attachments.
Anyway, my headache is now slowly subsiding and I can get back to some semblance of normalcy and blood sugar regulation.
I will attempt again to forego sugar in all forms for at least 24 hours.
This might prove futile and ultimately impossible.
But who cares?
At least I’m not sucking bugs through a straw-shaped snout with my 2 ft. generic tongue…
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