My Cat Needs Thumbs from Amazon
Cats are gross. They have no sense of decorum. The flail away in the litter box, spilling cat crap and little litter pellets all over the floor. They shuffle into their little restroom made of plastic from China and they just go to town. They try to be tidy, but it ain’t always so.
My cat just got a new litter box. It’s a tiny wooden house all in white. It’s from China. And I had to put it together. I don’t know why I keep saying China. It’s just a lot of things are “Made in China.” And shipped all the way here. So my cat can take a shit in style. This litter box house, all white with a door and a cutout doorway so he can climb in and shit to his little feline heart’s content, this litter box was $48 on Amazon. Shipped in a week. I put it together.
It took me almost 2 hours to put the thing together. I put shit together for my wife all the time. Dressers. Bookshelves. Tables. We go to Ikea and get this stuff and I have to put it together. I should say I put it together for the both of us. We’re in a relationship and we both share in the Ikea furniture.
But this cat shit thing was put together just for my cat. And he couldn’t give a shit. As long as he can take a shit.
I’m telling you this because I think many people have similar issues with their cats. The litter box is a dirty place.
Anyway, we got rid of the plastic dome litter box. The one we bought to keep our dog from going into the litter box and eating the cat treats. And when I say treats, I mean cat shit. We discovered the dog was ferreting away choice morsels of cat feces in the middle of the night.
This was in the regular, open-air litter box. So we got a dome litter box. It had a top on it and the cat crawled up a few little stairs and into the box, with a big plastic dome. He was in cat heaven. All private and such.
Then it got old and smelly and no matter how many times you cleaned it, the box was rancid smelling. Rank. Janky. Nasty.
So we got this little square white box of a litter box that looks like a little cube house for the cat to shit and piss in. “In which to shit and piss,” I should say.
It’s only the first day. He finally deemed it appropriate for his defecation and went in this morning. Cautiously. Slyly. His little cat tail waving out of the front door. Yes, it has a door. And yes, it was Made in China.
And yes, we’ll still have to clean it. But now, at least it matches our white wood dresser thing “in which” we keep our clothes.
And no, we haven’t been able to teach him how to use our toilet yet.
Or to put together his own furniture.
He has no opposable thumbs.
And they’re not available on Amazon.
©2023 Bruce Palma. All rights reserved.