I’m very concerned about our planet Earth and the environment and the global warming thing I keep hearing about on the news but I still forget my reusable bags when I go to buy my plastic packaged products at the grocery store.

Does this make me a bad person?

This is what I imagine many people are feeling. I hear it all the time at the grocery store. I’m standing in line and the person in front of me is asked by the cashier if they want bags or not, and the person says, very guiltily, I might add, “Yes, I’m sorry…I have a ton of bags in the car but I forgot them…oh well, yes give me the bags…”

It's as if someone asked them, "Do you want to eat french fries for breakfast?" and they say, “Yes, I do…I feel so bad saying it, but yes—just give me the damn french fries! I’m tired of oatmeal. I know it’s good for me, but it’s so boring…”

With the problems facing our world and lives and whatever else you want to throw in as a side dish, remembering our reusable bags when we go grocery shopping just can’t be as high on the list as other more pressing problems.

"What are those problems, Bruce?" (You might ask)

"Tell us what's more important than saving trees and cooling down good ol' Mother Earth?"

Here’s one:

Did you remember to floss your teeth? If you don’t maintain proper dental hygiene you might have to burn a lot of gas going back and forth to the dentist to get your teeth and gums fixed. It’s imperative to floss daily. In fact, I’m going to stop writing this now and go floss. It’s been a few weeks. I can’t keep track. I don’t put this shit on my phone as a reminder. That’s too petty. I believe I’m more of an advanced person than one who needs to be reminded on a phone made in China and shipped half way across the globe and packaged in a big fancy thick cardboard box that I need to floss my teeth. If I can’t remember this on my own then screw it. I’ll burn the gas and drive to the dentist to have them tell me my gum pockets are too large.

(If you don’t know what gum “pockets” are when you’re getting your teeth cleaned then hallelujah to you.)

Back to my premise: If remembering your reusable bags is more important than a million other things in your life then maybe your priorities are skewed. Now I don’t want to hear from a bunch of people telling me I’m being bad or irresponsible by telling people reusing bags ain’t that important. That’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying you have to have an holistic approach to helping heal the planet from this global warming thing we keep hearing about on the news. No matter that it’s getting hotter every year. You can feel it yourself. And don’t tell me that’s just a planetary cycle thing. Don’t shirk your responsibility in this matter.

You are responsible for burning fossil fuels every time you go to the grocery store to buy apples shipped in from Guatemala or Brazil or wherever the hell those apples are shipped from. Maybe they’re shipped from Washington state and you live in Maine. I don’t know.

You’re just trying to eat healthy and keep from going to the doctor. As they say, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. It also burns 20,000 gallons of fossil fuel if that apple is shipped from Washington state to Maine. If you live in Maine, go for a walk in your neighborhood and try and find a piece of fruit. If you can’t find any fruit, maybe you were supposed to just buy a bag of corn chips from the convenience store. But those are shipped from somewhere as well.

You see, we’re in a conundrum. We buy and eat and consume and live with things that are shipped in big ships and planes that burn fuel, fossil fuel that creates or is reported to create more global warming. And we read and learn about this global warming thing on our phones that are shipped from China and we get all up in a tizzy and want to do something other than burn more air conditioning in our cars and homes since it’s so damn hot outside.

I don’t want to be a bummer. I want to be a positive, forward-focused person. I truly do. I want to buy a reusable bag that has a positive message printed in sustainable ink so I can remind the world to stay positive.

What else do we got?

Maybe something like:

I’m eating a houseplant-based diet to be sustainable and never leave my home for the grocery store. This way I won’t burn any fossil fuels and I will be eating as local as possible.

I’m not sure how you get that much text on a reusable bag with sustainable ink, but who cares…