Mental Flatulence Pt.1
I will prevail. I will stop farting. The only way I can stop farting is to stop eating raw garlic and stuffing my face with carbs late at night.
I will endeavor to eat better. I will eat more vegetables and raw meat. Maybe not raw meat. I will be kind to animals and eat more vegan chorizo. I will endeavor to learn to like vegan chorizo. Just the thought of vegan chorizo makes me want to fart. An internal fart. A mind fart.
Life and death. What a ride. One minute here. One minute gone.
One minute farting. On minute your butt is in the ground or ground up ashes in a jar. And no more farts.
What a bad thing to think about. Fuck farting and ashes in a jar.
I am alive. I am a positive miracle of manifestation.
I will prevail. I will endeavor to eat less foods that make me fart.
I am really tired of farting. It’s bad form. It’s unbecoming of the mighty man I am.
I can’t grow any taller. I would like to be taller. Just a little taller. No much. Maybe about 4 - 5 inches. Just to be taller than 5’4”.
That’s too short.
But what can I do?
No amount of affirming it in a positive tone of voice will make me taller.
Visualizations with sage incense won’t make me taller.
I will be content to be as short as I am
Where has this missive gone?
Into the ditch of rambling and gambling on my height.
Let’s not even talk about my hair.
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