Nothing reeks of success more than a good bowel movement. I don’t care what’s going on in your life—when you sit on that porcelain bowl and let a good one go, the world is bright and shiny for at least a moment. Don’t forget to light an incense match. They work great for covering up the evidence.

Why start a blog post with such a graphic scene? Because that’s how I started my morning. And I feel all the better for it. Feeling good is #1 in my book. Physical health is paramount. It helps my head stay straight. When I’m in the throes of a bad blood sugar moment, I can’t think straight. I get depressed. I have no energy and the world seems worse than it actually is. The birds don’t sing in tune. They sound horrible. They sound like most of the pop singers nowadays. The sky sucks. Fuck the sky. Yeah, a blue sky…big deal. I’m over here feeling like shit, too much sugar, too much wheat, way too many carbs and no amount of kombucha will push all this crap through and out so I can be a free human being again. And look at birds with brand new eyes.

I should’ve stayed keto all day. But no, I had to gorge on bread and pasta and cookies. Poor, poor pitiful me…

So, yes, waking up this fine Saturday morning, a little chilly, pure blue sky with flecks of white clouds, trees all green and mellow—just standing there doing nothing (as trees usually do), turning on the coffeemaker, already filled and ready to go, and taking a nice dump on the grand porcelain bowl…that’s success.

Now I can get back to goalsetting and affirmations and figuring out how much money I actually want in my bank account. And do I want a red Porsche or a blue Mercedes?

When do I actually want to visit the South of France? And do I want to go down the Italian coast afterwards? Or fly up to Rome and look at random statues of dead people?

One must be specific when telling the Universe what one wants. Or does one? (“One” meaning “me” for now. It could be “you” – “one” is a very ambiguous word.)

There are some who say the Universe is like a menu in some fancy restaurant (or roadside diner) and you have to pick out what you want. You can’t just say, “Give me your daily special…” You have to tell the Universe (your reality server) if you want your burger medium rare or well done. Do you want a veggie burger, beef burger or turkey burger? Wheat or white bun? Do you want a side of cole slaw? Steak fries or curly fries? Extra ketchup? Cream in your coffee?

If you just tell the Universe, “Give me the best thing you got,” will you get a great meal of a life?

Maybe so. I go back and forth. Sometimes I’m specific and sometimes I’m general.

If I get steak fries, but I wanted curly fries, so be it.

As long as I get some ketchup.

Then I’ll order dessert. I’ll make sure to include lots of money, success, travel, nice cars and a few random worldly achievements. I always include “world peace” in my goalsetting.

Why not?

©2023 Bruce Palma. All rights reserved.